So just imagine how lucky I feel now. I've moved to a tropical island where it's warm and sunny year 'round. I live in a cute, breezy apartment just yards from the ocean. I have a sweet little golf cart for transportation. No car payments, insurance or expensive visits to the gas pump. I'm learning to appreciate another culture and the warm generosity of its people. On a daily basis I enjoy scenery that most people only see in photographs. Not to mention the peace and serenity I feel...a far cry from the worry and stress I lived with in my previous life.
Thanks to the simplicity and the exquisite sense of oneness with the universe that I feel here, I have grown so much spiritually. If you've read my blogs from the beginning, you know that I had an overwhelming feeling of being "sent" to this place. When I read about Utila in a newspaper article, I could almost hear a voice whisper in my ear...'this is where you need to go'.
I've learned to let go, leave the past behind, and forgive those who have hurt me. That was huge for me, because when I arrived here I had brought all that old baggage with me! I've always been a positive person, looking at the glass as half full as opposed to half empty, but my time here has had the added benefit of building my self-confidence. Much of that has to do with the fact that I was able to handle the entire move by myself, I'm sure. No small feat for a single woman to give up her life, sell everything and move to a foreign country that she'd never laid eyes on...a real ego-booster, let me tell you!
I've also found myself adopting a greater "live and let live policy". I might not have the same opinion as another person and I may not want my life to be the same as another's, but it's their life and their choices...not mine. And instead of getting angry because I think my take on something is correct and theirs is wrong, I take the stance that it's only opinion for each of us...no one is right and no one is wrong. That leaves me with a much nicer feeling than the anger that rises like hot bile from the pit of your stomach all the way to your throat, eventually causing you to choke on your own petty thoughts.
I'm no longer so hard on myself, whereas once my expectations were so high I needed a ladder to reach them. If I go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, it really doesn't matter...I can do them in the morning. If I'm busy writing and get sleepy after lunch, I'll give in and take a nap in the hammock. I've acquired the gift of relaxation.
Most important, I've found purpose here on this island. I've been working hard at cleaning up the beach by the apartments. During the winter months the rains swell the rivers on the mainland and they empty into the ocean. The tides bring all the flip flops, plastic bottles and other trash from the rivers' shores to the shores of Utila. The environment is important to me. We only have one planet, one home, and we have to stop killing it...or it will kill us.
I've taken on another challenge lately...that of helping some friends pay for a kidney transplant for their son. Robert is 14 years old and was a student on my school bus for six years. He's a great boy with many health challenges. I became very close to him and his family. Robert had a heart transplant at two weeks' of age. Anti-rejection meds have destroyed his kidneys, and he now needs a kidney transplant. Eight hospitals in Wisconsin turned this boy down for a transplant because he's autistic. Apparently if you're autistic you don't deserve to live. Frantic parents searched the country for a hospital that would save Robert's life. Boston Children's Hospital rose to the challenge, but now their insurance company refuses to cover the cost because the hospital is out of state. They appealed, and were denied again. As far as I'm concerned, this doesn't say much for the health care system in the United States.
Robert is in Boston now with his mother, having life-saving dialysis while he waits for a kidney. Robert's father is back in Wisconsin because he needs to work, and an online fundraiser has been established. I have been spending time on my laptop each day searching for jobs in the Boston area for Robert's dad so they can relocate. I've also been searching for charitable organizations which will help pay for the transplant.
Last weekend I was on Oprah's Website, hoping that she might donate to the cause. While there I noticed a posting requesting that people who have had a "Life Changing Experience" send an email describing it. A new television show on Oprah's network, OWN, will be based on the experiences of all these people. I decided to go for it. Many people have told me how courageous I was to just pack up and move to Utila, since I'd never been here before. I thought my story might be interesting to them, so I wrote it up and sent it. I truly never expected to hear anything back from them, but two days ago I got a phone call.
I understand now how all those Academy Award nominees feel when they say it's just an honor to be nominated. It was explained to me that they really liked me story. I was asked several questions and then told that next week the finalists would be chosen and they would call me. If I'm lucky enough to be chosen, I will have to fly to Toronto sometime between May 10 and June 10 for taping. I'm hoping it will happen, because I like the idea of empowering women...of showing them that it's all right to take risks...that they're stronger than they perceive themselves to be...that they SHOULD follow their dreams. An added bonus: if I get to meet Oprah, perhaps I can plead Robert's case in person.
It might be fun to be famous for the length of a television show. And how cool would it be if I get a chance to rub elbows with Oprah? It could even lead to a book deal or something equally outrageous. It's out of my hands now. The universe will decide for me, and if it's meant to be it will happen. If it doesn't, that's all right. It really WAS an honor to just be chosen as a finalist. And either way, I'll still have Utila.
