Most days I'm so excited and filled with anticipation about my move to Utila. But then there are days...moments really...when my heart is doing somersaults and tears come all too easily.
When Oliver...my cat and best friend...turns his head to look at me and places his paw upon my chest as a gesture of love and devotion, I wonder how I can leave him behind. Intellectually I know why I can't bring him with me, but emotionally it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done to leave him with a new owner.
You see, I found Oliver quite by accident, following the implosion of my 44-year marriage. As soon as I spotted him I thought, 'that's my cat', and once we met and sized one another up, I was certain that Oliver and I had known each other "before". Past lives? Reincarnation? I'm not sure. I just knew that we were spiritually connected. He saw me through a difficult time and gave me nothing less than his complete love, loyalty and an occasional hairball. I think I need to find a home for him sooner, rather than later. If he goes to a new home now, I will have the time to grieve before I move to Utila, and I won't be saying goodbye to all my loved ones at once.
On the "up" note, I'm slowly getting rid of my material possessions. My bistro set and bar stools are sold, as is my computer/printer, and this weekend is the first (of many, I'm sure!) garage sale, where I hope to unload lots of smaller items that I can certainly do without during the next few months. I sold the bistro set to a good friend, and we sat on it on my balcony, toasting each other with our glasses of wine, before she took it home with her.
I'm also giving little trinkets to friends as keepsakes. Good friend, Sue, who collects Boyd's Bears, got the stuffed Boyd's Bear given to me by my friend, Ellen, who has since passed away. How do you sell something like that at a garage sale, anyhow? It just wouldn't be right. So you pass it on to someone who is also near and dear to you, knowing that they will give it the same care that you did.
I'll let you know how I'm feeling after the garage sale, when most of my "stuff" has gone to new homes.
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